I’m ready to face my fears. I am fearless, right? I want to be honest with you all.
“I was sitting in class, band practice to be exact. I got a text from my mother that stated, “Don’t worry about him. Put everything in God hands.”
It’s been 4 years since I’ve heard from you…
or even saw you
Where you been?
I’m not the same vulnerable person I was, 4 years ago.
You’re not the same either.
Sometimes, I wondered why things happened the way they did.
I felt safe.
For the past 8 years, I’ve been writing letters to someone who’s no longer in my life.
I lived with guilt and hatred in my heart.
All those times I’ve cried myself to sleep.
Those times where I keep thinking “What if?”
“What if I never met you?”
“What If you liked me back?”
“What if something is wrong with me?”
There was nothing wrong with me.
No one will ever understand, not even my “friends”
I never understood why… Why her? Why me? Why can’t you feel the same? Why? I never got the answer to that, I don’t think I”ll ever get those questions answered but I do know… I couldn’t let go.
There was something about you.
God works in mysterious ways.
God wanted to end it.
He showed me signs that I ignored.
It could of been worse.
Over the years,
I’ve learned a lot about myself during such downfall.
I found closure within myself.
You’ve taught me to love myself when no one else did.
You’ve taught me what it’s like to be alone, what it’s like to love yourself, and
what it’s like to love again.
I stopped feeling sorry for myself.
We finally talked to each other.
I couldn’t believe it.
The situation that occurred in the past was never brought up, which I was glad.
I see you and I have both matured
I still think about you, not as often.
I see you’re doing good,
I’m happy for you, really.
I wish nothing but the best for you.
You didn’t have to apologize because
I got the closure that I needed…