“Are you hesitant to tell them about your good news?”
“Do they make you feel less of a person?”
“Lack of communication from both sides?”
“You feel as if that person judges everything you say?”
Well, If the answer is yes to all the above… that, my friend is a toxic relationship.
A toxic relationship where two or more parties are battling against each other. It could either be from lack of communication between the two, the lack of making time for one another, if they can’t see their own flaws, and etc. This list could go on forever but if this has been a constant issue for you then… it’s time to walk away.
Here are the 5 signs to spot a toxic relationship:
1. They only call when they need something.
Do you go days without hearing from that person? Do you only talk to this person when they need a favor or they need something from you? If yes, slowly drift apart from that person. Obviously, they’re using you to benefit them. Not saying you can’t help out a friend but if they only call when they need something without giving back in return or if whenever you reach out to them, there’s always an excuse…TOXIC. A friendship or a relationship should be 50/50 and that’s not a friendship/relationship. It’s not easy saying no, but it’s best to state your voice in a gentle yet firm matter whether they like it or not.
2. They blame you for their mistakes.
Does this person never seem to understand where you’re coming from? They blame you for the way you feel? It’s your fault all the time? They could never see their wrong in the situation?
If yes, this is a dead zone and you should get out as quickly as possible. Communication is the biggest part of how we keep everything stable. If they’re trying to make you feel bad for something you completely stand strong by… my friend, It’s time to cut that person off.
They obviously don’t see their wrongs and it’s hurting you in the end. You feel like everything you do is your fault and you most definitely shouldn’t feel that way. They should own up to their own mistakes.
3. The relationship is doing more harm than good.
Is the vibe always negative? Does he/she gives negative feedback? Afraid of telling them good news because of judgement? GET OUT NOW! If the relationship is more negative than positive, you have to think about who you’re surrounding yourself with. Think about it… Friendships/relationships goes through their ups and downs. Have you grown apart from this person and doesn’t know how to accept the fact? We tend to go back to our comfort zone to the place we used to be in our lives to feel better yet continues to get worst. Sounds familiar?
4. Their pride.
They’re selfish. They don’t care about your concerns. Passive. aggressive.
Reaching out to break the ice first? They have a hard time admitting their sorry? It’s all about them?
When a situation occurs, they always talk about themselves rather than the overall situation. They get offended and defensive. When you finally put your foot down to speak up, they think you’re in the wrong. Like, excuse me? Why can’t we have an adult conversation without the other person getting defensive? Guilty.
5. Unable to exit yourself.
You’ve been friends for a long time… You’re having a hard time to distance yourself from such toxic relationship because you care about them which is understandable. You love them with everything you have yet unable to receive the same love from them. It’s better to point out the signs of a toxic relationship rather than being in a nasty hole, feeling crappy for a long time. It’s okay to outgrow from people, it’s okay to love them from a distance but you have to learn how to let go. I know you want to hold on but sometimes things change, people change. It’s life.
Does these signs sounds familiar to you? This kind of relationship causes stress that you don’t need. This cause a lot of heartache, feeling down, headaches, and low self-esteem.
Learn to communicate, set boundaries, and be the bigger person. It’s not all about having a good time with them, it’s about the support that comes behind it all through hurt times and good times. You shouldn’t have to feel less of a person, a relationship/friendship should have an equal balance. Not one-sided.
Friends are supposed to add to your life, not take away from it.