I’m not sure what direction I’m going in.
It’s like I’m here, physically
but not here, mentally.
What is the “perfect” life?
The way society has made and shaped our lives into this fantasy world. Ever since I was a kid, I set goals for myself. You know? The same ol same ol. ( Graduate highschool, get a boyfriend, maintain all A’s, getting a job right after college ready to take on this new life of being an independent adult) AM I’M RIGHT? or am I’m right? WRONG.
Reality has set in of course.
I’m trying my hardest to maintain a retail job, trying to pay bills, have a social life, healthy, and just being damn great. To be honest with you all, I lose hope. I lose focus. I lose energy. I lose my damn mind. It’s like my life is like a blur.
I don’t know what direction I’m going into.
People have so high expectations for me, put me on this pedestal and think everything was handed to me. NO.
For one, they don’t know me.
and two, they don’t know how much work I really put in. Just because you don’t see anything doesn’t mean I’m not doing anything with my life.
However (Let’s get to the main topic)
I graduated college 4 months ago, and even then I didn’t feel right. When I traveled all up North, I was the happiest. I filmed, edited, and had the best time in D.C. Until I came back home…Same ol same ol. Twilight zone. It was the same ol broken record playing over and over and I got sick of it. I got so sick of it and I think that what’s happening now.
I feel stuck.
I lessen my time off social media because it was getting under my skin. Of course, I was comparing myself and just wondering why isn’t my life moving? Like what do I have to do?
Nobody gave you directions how life works, it just does. You have to figure it out along the way.
Now, that I’ve listed these negative nancies. I’m able to get my mind back on track. What do I need to focus on and continue to remain positive and I know it’s hard to remain positive when you’re in this funky mood and when I’m in moods like this…
I write – in my journal or to you guys. It’s one of my stress relievers, I like to write everything on paper. Just whenever I get some time to myself, I silence everything just to hear myself think and breathe for once.
Mini Road Trips – I loveeee to just get on the roads late at night and just drive, listening to smoothing music. I get inspired by looking at tall, glowing buildings around Atlanta, GA.
Vent to my friends- Even though, I always tell myself (sticky note) how I’m annoying my friends by always venting to them. That’s not always the case and besides, that’s what friends are for. Friends are supposed to build you up when you’re down and support you through whatever. If you don’t have friends like that, leave them in 2018 sis.
Those are some of the things I like to do when I’m feeling down or uninspired. I encourage everyone who’s reading this or if you didn’t read this and just scrolled on through (wink wink). Anyway, the purpose of this message was to yeah, we are going to have those moments where we feel like it’s the end of the world. I have them everyday. However, I try my best to stay positive and keep my hopes alive and well.
“You stay ready, you got to be ready.”
In conclusion of this message, I hope you all have a blessed day.
We’re going to get through this together.